Ladies and gentlemen...
Well, gentlemen certainly. This is no place for a lady.
MEN SNIGGER.
It gives me great pleasure, and no small amount of relief,
to declare this, the first ever flushing public lavatory, open.
APPLAUSE.
WHISTLING.
Might want to leave it five minutes.
HE GASPS. Oh, my goodness!
A year previously, in 1851,
temporary toilets were exhibited at the Great Exhibition in London's Hyde Park
and visitors were charged a penny to use them.
That is thought to be the origin of the phrase "to spend a penny".
And this is the origin of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Hm, interesting.
But that's not what's supposed to happen.
Darling, I don't want to worry you or anything,
- but I think you might be dead. - Hm?
I don't think so, darling.
This newspaper seems to think you are, and it's always been very reliable in the past.
“Doctor Alfred Nobel, the Swedish chemist and inventor of dynamite,
“died yesterday in the French resort of Cannes.”
Let me see that.
Good grief, it does say I'm dead.
Look what they're calling me, “the merchant of death”.
It says here, “Dr Alfred Nobel became rich
“by finding ways to kill more people even faster than ever before.”
You'd think that just because I'd invented dynamite,
I am personally responsible for the death of thousands of people!
I mean honestly, have you ever heard such nonsense? CLOCK TICKS.
I said, have you ever heard such rubbish?
Sophie, if you have something to say...
Well, you did invent what is, at this point in time,
the most powerful explosive on earth.
- And it has gone on to kill thousands of people. - What's your point?
All I'm saying is, you have to accept when people hear the word "Nobel",
they're always going to think of dynamite.
I knew I should've called it Nobel's Safety Powder.
Do you really think that when I actually do go that this is how I'll be remembered?
Oh, sweetheart, of course it is, my furry-cheeked little death merchant.
Well, not if I can help it!
I shall reinvent my own image.
- What? - I shall use my massive fortune to establish a special prize.
One that rewards positive human endeavours in the pursuit of peace
so that when I do die, I won't just be linked to explosives!
And I, Alfred Nobel, will call this special peace prize...
Prize-A-Mite!
Darling, why don't you call it the Nobel Peace Prize?
HE CHUCKLES.
I love you, darling, but you have absolutely no idea when it comes to marketing.
- A-hem! Tea! - Certainly.