Dignitary: Ladies and gentlemen...
Dignitary: Well, gentlemen certainly. This is no place for a lady.
MEN SNIGGER.
Dignitary: It gives me great pleasure, and no small amount of relief,
Dignitary: to declare this, the first ever flushing public lavatory, open.
APPLAUSE.
Man: WHISTLING.
Man: Might want to leave it five minutes.
Dignitary: HE GASPS. Oh, my goodness!
Rattus: A year previously, in 1851,
Rattus: temporary toilets were exhibited at the Great Exhibition in London's Hyde Park
Rattus: and visitors were charged a penny to use them.
Rattus: That is thought to be the origin of the phrase "to spend a penny".
Rattus: And this is the origin of the Nobel Peace Prize.
Alfred Nobel: Hm, interesting.
Alfred Nobel: But that's not what's supposed to happen.
Sophie: Darling, I don't want to worry you or anything,
Sophie: - but I think you might be dead. Alfred Nobel: - Hm?
Alfred Nobel: I don't think so, darling.
Sophie: This newspaper seems to think you are, and it's always been very reliable in the past.
Sophie: “Doctor Alfred Nobel, the Swedish chemist and inventor of dynamite,
Sophie: “died yesterday in the French resort of Cannes.”
Alfred Nobel: Let me see that.
Alfred Nobel: Good grief, it does say I'm dead.
Alfred Nobel: Look what they're calling me, “the merchant of death”.
Alfred Nobel: It says here, “Dr Alfred Nobel became rich
Alfred Nobel: “by finding ways to kill more people even faster than ever before.”
Alfred Nobel: You'd think that just because I'd invented dynamite,
Alfred Nobel: I am personally responsible for the death of thousands of people!
Alfred Nobel: I mean honestly, have you ever heard such nonsense? CLOCK TICKS.
Alfred Nobel: I said, have you ever heard such rubbish?
Alfred Nobel: Sophie, if you have something to say...
Sophie: Well, you did invent what is, at this point in time,
Sophie: the most powerful explosive on earth.
Sophie: - And it has gone on to kill thousands of people. Alfred Nobel: - What's your point?
Sophie: All I'm saying is, you have to accept when people hear the word "Nobel",
Sophie: they're always going to think of dynamite.
Alfred Nobel: I knew I should've called it Nobel's Safety Powder.
Alfred Nobel: Do you really think that when I actually do go that this is how I'll be remembered?
Sophie: Oh, sweetheart, of course it is, my furry-cheeked little death merchant.
Alfred Nobel: Well, not if I can help it!
Alfred Nobel: I shall reinvent my own image.
Sophie: - What? Alfred Nobel: - I shall use my massive fortune to establish a special prize.
Alfred Nobel: One that rewards positive human endeavours in the pursuit of peace
Alfred Nobel: so that when I do die, I won't just be linked to explosives!
Alfred Nobel: And I, Alfred Nobel, will call this special peace prize...
Alfred Nobel: Prize-A-Mite!
Sophie: Darling, why don't you call it the Nobel Peace Prize?
HE CHUCKLES.
Alfred Nobel: I love you, darling, but you have absolutely no idea when it comes to marketing.
Alfred Nobel: - A-hem! Tea! Sophie: - Certainly.